Must A Aspiring Content Creator Pal Cease Using Me for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?