That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

As we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.